Transgendered in CNY: Part 1

People in the Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay, and Transgendered community struggle.

Being born a girl and living as a man, "Mike,"  has been dealing with being a transgender for as long as he can remember. 

"I remember being little--like three, and I used to argue with my mom all the time and say, 'IM NOT A GIRL I'M A BOY,' and I used to take my shirt off and run around and she'd say, 'Girls need to put their shirts on!'.  It was about 4 when she really sat me down and scolded me.  And that's when it really hit me that I wasn't a guy."  

And what was that like for Mike?  It was devastating.  He says, " My goal/dream was to be somebody's prince charming.  I wanted to grow up, marry a beautiful girl, raise kids, and be an awesome mainly like my father.  And here I am at the age of 4 and it really me that, ' I can't do any of that.'"

Mike was depressed even to the point of contemplating suicide.  He says, "There were nights that I really, really considered it.  I'd hold a knife to my arm but I never cut myself  because I hate pain worse than that.  Driving was really hard for me because every pole I saw I wanted to crash into it, every bridge I passed over I wanted to drive off it.  I mean, the urges are really severe and I remember bracing myself everytime I drove down a street."

Mike says it's not a choice.   He says, "Your choice is to either go with it or fight against it.  If you fight against it, you're going to be miserable; you're going to be depressed."

To view Part 2 of Mike's Story, click here